Love is Now Mingled with Grief
& how LOTR helps us make sense of it
“The very month was September, and as fine as you could ask.” -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Hello and welcome to Many Meetings, the heart of Tolkien-dom on Substack!
I’m Breanne, a new-ish substacker, but a lifelong Tolkien fan. This space is one I’ve created to welcome others into these beautiful stories, sometimes on walks with my dog and sometimes in a quiet corner of your inbox.
This substack is also where I host annual read-throughs of The Lord of the Rings (our next one starts ONE WEEK from now on September 22nd!).
Whether it’s through written deep-dives into Tolkien’s legendarium, or filming videos to educate and answer questions about this fictional world I do verything I can to make The Professor’s work welcoming and accessible.
In today’s post, we’re talking about why reading The Lord of the Rings now might just be the best time of all.
The first time I read The Lord of the Rings I hated it.
Maybe you’re wondering how someone could start from there and get to the point of publicly hosting an annual read-through of this story and be thrilled to do it (more on that in a minute).
It’s true, I wasn’t always a Tolkien fan. And yet, here I am writing to you from my Tolkien-themed office for my Tolkien-themed substack, preparing to lead a Lord of the Rings read-through for the fourth year in a row.
What changed? I experienced the power of wholesome escapism and its ability to strengthen a heart in dark times. But it didn’t happen all at once.
The first time I heard of The Lord of the Rings was in a Toys R Us (gather ‘round ye children while I bewilder ye minds with tales of department stores watched over by a benevolent giraffe who guided younglings through aisles of toys, toys, toys beyond count!)
We were standing near the electronic section when my oldest brother gasped, “They’re making it into a movie!” he said. I whipped my head around to follow his gaze. Hanging overhead was a tv where a giant golden ring was spinning on screen.
The only excitement I had was felt vicariously through my brother. This story obviously meant a lot to him. I was just wondering why the black-hooded creatures were after all the short guys with curly hair.
I was an avid reader but had my own genres and tastes. I knew next to nothing about the works of J.R.R. Tolkien save what I’d overheard here and there from my brother. After seeing the teaser trailer in Toys R Us, he soon pushed a copy of The Fellowship of the Ring into my hands. “Give it a try, it’s so good. You’ll love it.”
Narrator: “She did, in fact, not love it.”
I was bored to pieces within the first chapter, immediately gave it up and didn’t have another thought about Frodo and the One Ring. That was until the first movie was released.
I didn’t have an opportunity to see it in theaters, but eventually it made its way to DVD and I watched it with my brother. I hesitate to use the words “life changing” but I was never the same once the credits rolled and ‘May It Be’ by Enya played onscreen.
I immediately wanted more. I couldn’t wait another year for The Two Towers to be released in theaters. I peppered my brother with questions about how the story would unfold and he promptly returned me to the books. “I’m not telling you anything. You have to read it for yourself.”
And so at twelve years old, I embarked on my first real trek into the world of Tolkien. I pushed through my initial boredom until, suddenly, I burst headlong into a layered imaginative experience of Middle-earth. Here was a world where beauty wasn’t some trite thing, but a revered weapon against darkness. Here was a story that looked unflinchingly into the eye of evil and defeated it. Looking back, twelve year old Breanne needed that more than she realized. I’ve been wandering there ever since.
Typically in autumn, I would take myself through this story again. It became a touchstone for my youth and a comforting companion throughout the tumultuous years where I grew farther away from it. I’m 35 now and, while I haven’t read it every single year since (though nearly!), I have read it so many times I’ve lost count.
“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.” Haldir, The Fellowship of the Ring, J.R.R. Tolkien.
These days, the glory of the fall season is intertwined with the invisible burden of being someone who suffers with seasonal depression. Having this familiar story to anchor me has been like wearing my own mithril shirt under my cloak—it doesn’t keep me from bruising when the hard days hit, but it sure helps in keeping me from staying down when they do.
In one week, on September 22nd, I’m inviting you to delve into these stories with me.
As Haldir says, ‘the world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places’. Being a human in 2024, we can still very much acknowledge that reality. Life is brutal. And there is beauty to be hunted for, the thrill of chasing it has led me to God’s heart throughout my life—even the times I’ve ended up traveling through Middle-earth to arrive there.
This isn’t a book club, there are no deadlines or due dates. I aim to make this experience as simple and accessible as possible.
How the 2024 read-through works:
Whether you borrow the book from a friend, check it out from your library, find it for cheap second-hand, listen on audiobook or dust a personal copy off, we’re all picking up The Fellowship of the Ring on September 22nd.
From there, everyone will read at the pace that works for them.
Every week for paid subscribers, I will send out a ‘Middle-earth Monday’ post from here to your inbox. This is when I will share where I’m at in the story and invite you to do the same.
The Middle-earth Monday posts are where you'll have space to share thoughts, engage in deeper discussions and get your questions answered. Consider upgrading to paid subscription to get access to those weekly check-ins.
Free subscribers will get occasional public posts sent their way about various topics we encounter while reading this story. I will also be positing a briefer version of the Middle-earth Monday check-ins on my Instagram and TikTok channel for free so everyone can have the opportunity to engage with this read-through in the way that works for them.
Maybe you've read this story before. Maybe you've attempted to and just couldn't get through it. Maybe you've only seen the movies and never read the books. Maybe you don’t have the capacity to commit to this read-through but you know hanging out with us and absorbing the goodness by osmosis would be helpful to you. I don't care, all are welcome.
“I have claimed that Escape is one of the main functions of fairy-stories, and since I do not disapprove of them, it is plain that I do not accept the tone of scorn or pity with which 'Escape' is now so often used. Why should a man be scorned if, finding himself in prison, he tries to get out and go home? Or if he cannot do so, he thinks and talks about other topics than jailers and prison-walls?” -J.R.R. Tolkien
It's no secret this year has been hard for all of us in different ways. And in the middle of all the hardship, God gave us the weapon of Story--not just for escapism but also as a song from a Far Green Country calling us to look higher than the dust we're shuffling through here.
And we ain't gonna have any of that "which is better, films or books?" nonsense. You can have your Lembas and eat it too. 😉
I'm cracking open The Fellowship of the Ring one week from now on September 22nd whether you join me or not. But I'd sure love it if you did.
Meet you in Middle-earth.
Breanne, I am an Elder, born 1952 and and discovered LOTR in my youth. I have read it many times over my life. In fact, in times of deep depression in my failing college years...I would close my door and blast through all three books in a couple of days, immersed until the grief would lift a bit. Tolkien is one of the Masters of authors, along with C.S. Lewis. I return again and again to the books and LOVED Peter Jackson's masterpiece movies, all three, a labor of love that also stand the test of time. While I will not be joining the readalong, I will be there in spirit. LOVE the painting of Gildor and the hobbits... and remember, "A Elbereth Gilthoniel, silivren penna miriel..." Love to all from a woman of God and fellow Elf-hobbit! Wendy (the blunt Oregon girl)
I wasn’t exposed to the Lord of the Rings until I was a junior in college so it hasn’t been a part of life for very long (about 5 years now). However, it is now a HUGE part of my life (and I don’t use that word lightly) - my younger brother and now my mom (who is deeply upset about the fate of the entwives) are involved with me. I can’t imagine life without Tolkien.